Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present, to live better in the future. - Wiliam Wordsworth
It's impossible to count al the times I've tried to predict te future. Almost all the conversations I ever had, I've had a million times more in my head. Maybe that says more about me then I wish it did. But I'm not the only one who wants to know what is going to happen, think about all those stories about fortune tellers who tell you, one day youre going to meet a tall dark stranger, you will get maried and get youre own red cabrio. Or maybe you will take of fly to the other end of the world. Start a kangaroo farm and live happily ever after. I once tried to found out my future with tarrot cards. Me and my friends didn't understand a bit of the weird cards and the even weirder explanations. And how about the reason why everyone eats chinese, the fortune cookies.
People try to predict the future because its scary when you just don't know what will happen. But then again, even when you know the future you probably won't even believe it. If I knew two years ago that my parents were divorcing, that my friend who got last her first kiss, lost her V-card the first, or that I would be a terrible student and even worse in taking care of myself, I would most likely laughed in youre face. To show that I am smart and know everything about the old Rome I'll tell the story of Cassandra. She was a daughter of Priamus The king of Troie. She was extremely pretty and she caught apollos eye. He wanted to sleep with her, in trade she would be able to predict the future. When he gave her the ability she refused to sleep with him. So he changed the ability, that whenever she would tell the future, no one would believe her. She predicted the fall of Troie, but no one believed her. I guess the story is just a simpel reason why people never believe it when you tell them something that will happen but isn't a good prospect. Because people just don't believe that sort of stuff.
The future is a weird thing, even weirder maybe is the way we, people, try to get a hold of it, while it's propbably the most unpredictable thing we have. I should try to close my eyes. And let the future come to me. Instead of trying to make the future go my way and have it all blow up in my face. I will get hurt, thats life. But instead of trying i should forget and get up and smile.
This is probably the most sad blog I will write. I'm sorry that its shallow and boring, the next time I will make sure that my thoughts are more interesting and maybe a little bit more original and special.
I went to my stuff today. I had this big bag full of birthday cards, pictures and other memories like plain tickets and city maps. I read every single card, looked at every single plain ticket and remembered every single city and the way they all had their special scent and feeling. I threw at least 90 percent of the bag in the trashcan. They were all memories like this card of a friend of mine who asked me how my arm was because it was terrible that it was casted. I can tell you I never casted my arm. So i went downstairs and asked my mom if I ever casted my arm. She didn't know about it either. The card was a memory, but I didn't remember it. I guess it's a shame how guick people can forget things that are so special that someone for instant put it on a get well soon card. I don't assume I will ever found out, why the girl gave me a get well soon card. I don't even think the thougt of why she send me the card will stay with me long. Tomorrow I probably won't remember it.
I don't really care about it. The card wasn't important to me, isn't important to me en will never be important to me. But it scares me, how easily things can be forgotten. Even if theres something that should help remember it. I once worked in a cafeteria. The food was horrible, the decaration was even worse and the most terrible thing was the fact that I worked there. Because there was a 50/50 chance that you would be soaked with your drinks at the end of the evening. But somehow we had customers and somehow my boss managed not to fire me and somehow it was the best job I ever had and maybe ever will have. My collegues were nice. My boss gave me a phone and drove me home every night after work. And no I didn't had sex with him afterwards. Back to the point I'm trying to make. After a year of hardwork my boss sold the place to some chinese richkids. I hated it to work for them. They probably thought that the peking duck I served was more worth then me. But anyhow, the food was good and the first few months they had a lot more customers than my former boss. And somehow I managed again not to get fired. I quickly forgot the way the restaurant looked wen it was dutch and not chinese. I quickly forgot the rules of my former bos. I quickly forgot how it was to work the way I used to. I hated the job, I wanted back to the way it was. But my memory was fading away every day more. I cared about losing this memory because it was my first job and it meant a lot to me.
In the summer I went to work at a elderhouse with demented people. I worked there for two months en I learned more about live, people and death, than I learned at high school in six years. I quickly memorised the names of the people, there faces, even what they used to drink in their coffee and if they liked potatoes more or rice. I thought I never would forget these special people that all stole a place in my heart by just being awkwardly and schamelessly there worst self they could possibly be. I haven't thought about those people for a whole month. I still think they are the most special people I ever met, meet and will meet. But it is a memory that's slowly fading away and I wish I could keep it forever.
Now comes the punchline of my way to long monologue. I wish I was Sherlock Holmes. No kidding. I once searched on the internet how to be Sherlock Holmes. He is smart and most important he never forgets the important details and facts about life. He would never come across a put away card in a never looked in drawer and not have a clue were the card was about. He would never forget his first job, he would probably never work as a waiter too but that's a totally not important detail. He would probably never forget the special people in his life, then again he would only have to memorise Watson, but the point is I wish I never would be able to forget.
Life changes, faster and faster. Sometimes you wish you could grab live and make it pauze. Maybe even rewind. So you could lay back and chill for once. But all those changes and the speed of life make it impossible to remember everything. Thats why I decided to start a blog. So i could simply write down all the stupid things that come to my mind. And maybe, just maybe, I would be able to memorise more.